Week 32

The past couple of weeks have been interesting. It seems my nesting instinct has kicked into high gear. That coupled with my impending move and the ticking baby clock have been keeping me from sleeping much. I now have a very frequent urge to get DO. I have old clothes (skinny clothes) to pack for storage, hopeful clothes to go with me, bathroom luxuries I can live without (goodbye for now, cellulite cream) for storage, kitchen gadgets to slowly siphon into boxes, and books books books. Not to mention all of the other logistical things that I have still to handle. Picking a pediatrician and having him sign some paper saying that he’ll be the one examining the baby after delivery, pre-registration for the hospital, helping Cesar figure out his benefits package at Red Bull, signing up for birthing preparation classes, planning maternity leave, doctor appointments, and packing my hospital bag. It’s no wonder women are the one’s burdened with child birth; a man couldn’t get all of that done (especially while growing a baby from scratch and looking damn good while doing it). Unfortunately it means I’ve become all business. Every dinner with Cesar has become a meeting to discuss strategy and upcoming dates and plans. My old, fun, not-pregnant me is left wondering what the heck I used to talk about before this bossy bitch moved in.

I am looking forward to being settled and meeting our little guy. Not a big fan of the last few hours before I meet him but I am still confident that modern medicine will come up with a way to beam him out within the next 2 months. I have dreams about it (did you know frequent dreaming in one night is a sign that you aren’t fully rested?). Usually it is pretty normal and I can imagine the pain but its dull and nothing like I’ve heard anyone describe (“like shitting a giant watermelon that is on fire”).

Cesar is working 2 jobs right now which makes the dream of being settled somewhere seem much closer than it used to. He works Monday – Friday at Red Bull (yay!) and Saturday – Sunday for Dreyers. Not sure how long he(we)’ll be able to handle that but the extra cash will be very nice. We can pay off some debt, save up some money and get our own place (queue angelic singing). Having a Mexican mom around to cook for me doesn’t sound too bad either. The idea of having things paid off and being debt free is beautiful. My credit card will be easy, and my car might take a little time but at this rate I can pay it off 10 months early!

Doc says my skin looks great and I probably won’t get any stretch marks! Can you believe it!!!! don’t hate me, I’m sure I’ll suffer  in some other way (hmm acne scarring?) but I was thrilled when I heard that. My weight gain leveled off at my last appointment which is good news too. I’m trying, I swear. Who am I to fight with nature when it’s hot outside and she reminds me that I have ice cream in the freezer (thank you Dreyers)? So for now, I am resigned to eating well (ice cream aside) and doing extra laps at work so get off my butt and avoid varicose veins!

Right now I’d really like a giant burrito from Miguel’s Jr.

Week 31

current weight - 167...I think. Dr's scale says way more but I'm fairy certain that my bathroom scale is more accurate.

Saw Dr. Yeo last week, first appointment that Cesar couldn't make it to (he was working). Sucks for him because we got an ultrasound! Saw the ever-growing little guy for the first time in about 10 weeks. He is in the right position and I could see and feel him kicking me simultaneously which was really exciting.  The print out of his face that we got shows the outline of his skull and eye sockets and his little arm. Cesar is pretty concerned that his head looks too big. His mom, my parents and I have all been hard at work convincing him that it looks normal and to remind him that you can't see his skin or fat in the ultrasound. I think he's almost got it through his head.
Baby shower was this weekend and could not have been better! I got a cute new outfit and some fancy new shoes for the event. I made up my own cocktail, a blueberry martini. yum yum...from what I heard. So many people showed up, I wasn't expecting that. I still can't believe how generous my friends are. I get so hung up on how alone I've been feeling that I had written them off and they still showed me so much love. Opening all of the gifts got me really excited to meet (and dress) our guy. Even Cesar got excited when I went through and showed him all the neat things we got. Tons of shoes, little outfits, bottle warmer, even the cloth diapers from etsy got a rise out of him "that's bad!" (Cesar verbage for "that's so cool!") His mom couldn't stop cooing over the little sandals. I think Bentley (the dog) got a little jealous that the gifts weren't for him, as was clearly displayed by his theft of multiple diapers and rubber ducks.

So Cesar officially starts working at Red Bull on Monday! More money, full time, and benefits! (insert joyous skipping and dancing) This is great news for more reasons than the obvious cash perk, it means we'll be able to get our own place sooner! We'll still stay at his parent's house for a few months, pay off some debt and get comfortable with our new rolls...hopefully.

I've been seeing a lot more activity from baby. He had the hiccups for the first time last night, at least I'm pretty sure that's what it was. Normally I'll feel some bumps and punches sporadically, but last night was rhythmic bumping in the area where his torso is. It lasted approximately 3 minutes, I tried to catch it on video but it didn't show much. Better luck next time, Baby. He is starting to give me some pains though; lower back, upper back, ribs, trouble sleeping, heart burn. I have a ominous feeling about the remaining TWO MONTHS. I already don't feel like I can do all the things I used to do. Packing and moving are going to be very tricky.

We're signed up for a birthing class starting July 1st. I'm excited. I wish I hadn't had to try and convince him to take the class with me but ultimately he agreed to take the class with me. I think he is starting to realize that I'm always right. It's about damn time!

I'm growing out of my clothes faster and faster. I solicited the help of Jenn to keep me lookin good as my "stylist" I don't think she realizes what she has signed up for.

Week 29...I think

Current Weight - 161, hard to believe it isn't more based on the amount of ice cream I have been consuming.

I actually have no idea what week this is, but according to my phone it is week 29. The phone wins this one.

Things have been okay the last week. Planning is always a source of conflict for me and Cesar. He'd like to wait until the 11th hour to get anything in order while I would like to, at the very least, have a foggy idea of what the plan is as far ahead of time as possible. It can be hard not to let the hormones get the best of me in arguments but he has been pretty understanding. Through all of my nagging we have made some decisions. I'll move into his parent's house with him until he has a good foothold at work.
AH! WORK! So my wonderful boyfriend has been working at Dreyer's the past few weeks. The drive started wearing him down (about 40 miles one way on top of his driving from store to store) so he gave a reminder phone call to Red Bull. They had him come in last week and offered him way more than they had offered him last time. The first time he interviewed they said the position was for a part time merchandiser; not the best and he is capable of much more. Well, this time they told him the position was for a FULL TIME RELIEF SALES position! Cue triumphant music. Right now we are awaiting final approval and then we should know if he is in or not. Very exciting indeed. 
In my corner, I will start "interning" for a real estate company, thanks to one of my former Kappa advisors. It'll pay me per sale and I go by for a few hours 3 days a week. Also very exciting. I should be able to learn a lot there and maybe make some career moves, plus its something I can do while on leave from my soul sucking office job.
So this baby has pretty good etiquette already. If I slouch he kicks me in the ribs, he must be mine. I wish he would let me slouch, my back has been hurting lately. I think its time to look in to a massage, like...immediately. Maybe some bengay in the meantime.
The other night I think I had my first official weird craving: pancakes and enchilada sauce. It could have been exhaustion but it made my mouth water regardless. It has since passed, but I was excited that I finally had something weird to report.
I'm outgrowing my clothing faster than I expected. I'm as reluctant as ever to buy maternity clothing. I still don't want to be draped in flowy articles a la circus tent. I'm actively searching for someone who would like to do all the shopping for me. So far, no bites.
For now I'm off to work out my arms so they don't look fat in all the pictures of me holding baby.

Week 28

Current weight 161 lbs
Its been a few weeks since I've updated. I can't believe how quickly time has passed or how suddenly it seems my armpits and thighs have tripled in size. Lucky for me it will be summer soon, lots of tank tops and bikini bottoms...awesome.
Definitely been getting a lot more action out of the little guy lately. Usually after I eat chocolate, although I think he may be building an immunity to it. hmm. He gets especially kicky when I lay on my left side. It almost feels like he is trying to alert me to his discomfort. Foreshadowing?
Strangers have begun asking me about being pregnant. I guess that's good? It is still a little weird but at least they haven't started touching my belly yet.
A girl I know who was as far a long as I am just lost her baby. It actually freaked me and Cesar out a lot. I thought that we were in the clear after 12 weeks. I've just been getting used to the idea that there is a 2 lb creature living (apparently) on the left side of my uterus, now I get to worry about something happening to him already? Physically things haven't been hard but the lifetime of worry doesn't really wait until birth, does it?
If you ask me today, I'll be living with the Vazquez family when the baby is born. My roommate made it clear early on that I would be the one leaving, not her. I can't say that isn't upsetting, but she does get a say in what happens....it would have been nice to discuss it though...
Cesar started working at Dryer's this week and from the sounds of it he has been impressing a lot of people. The job is seasonal but we're hoping they hire him on full time at the end of the season. Once we know that, we will be able to get OUR OWN PLACE!! I'm sure after a few months in a crowded house we will be good and ready to start our own nest. I'm a little disappointed that we can't do it before then, but I'm extremely happy that Cesar is working somewhere better than The Men's Wearhouse. Tiny victories!!!! He's doing well so far and I imagine they'd like to keep someone that good around for a long time.
Do you ever feel like you can't get good news without also getting bad news? The first day Cesar started at Dreyer's was the very same day I awoke to find one of the wheels had been stolen from my car. He had been planning on using my car for work since it gets better gas mileage but now we have to wait for the wheel place to ship me the wheel and then we have to find a tire for it and get it put on, balanced, rotated...blah blah blah. no fun. Maybe I won't be sorry to move out after all ;)
Last visit with Dr. Yeo went well. He told Cesar he was luck to "have a wife who looks like a model" hear that, world? Despite the fact that he was referring to my lack of stretch marks (knock on wood) I have to believe he meant overall I still looked like a woman and not a zebra striped blob. I don't care either way. I look like a model according to my Dr, that is enough for me. Now if only I can get these thighs and armpits down to model size...in due time.
Maternity clothes still seem to outsmart me. Just when I think I have figured out a way to avoid them, I lose a button or retire a favorite pair of underoos. Thank goodness for eBay. I'll keep on hunting until  more than 5 items fit me. I will be cute!!!!
I still cannot believe that there are approximately 11 weeks left. Does anyone else think that isn't enough time? Baby showers are happening soon and I'm actually excited. Time to celebrate this little guy!

Week 24

current weight: 157.5 screw the scale at the OB's office.

Our little guy has been moving around quite a bit lately. I felt the first really noticeable kick last week. It felt like the bubbles in your stomach when you hold in a fart. (There he goes again. Must know that I'm talking about him) I could actually see a little bubble last night. Cesar isn't exactly interested, but I don't know that I would be too interested in his bowelesque feelings...or whatever the male equivalent is.
I really look pregnant now. I'm sure there are still some people out there who can take a look at me and think "I didn't know she was a competitive eater".
I'm feeling the pressure of time. 3 months to go and still don't know where we'll live. Wow, 3 months. THREE. Good news is that Cesar has been working a lot harder to find full time work. tick tock babies. Hope next week I have good news to report. We have started making steps to save money. He is the detail man, but he always wants to have the finest of everything. Meanwhile, I walk around as a steady reminder that reality is far from his visions. "Maybe someday, but for now..." However, it is fun to get wrapped up in mentally painting walls, planting a garden, picking out furniture, and playing in the yard. Maybe someday, but for now...we wait.
Going back to the weight gain; my parents like to shake their heads' and frown at my numbers. I, however, did a little research of my own. Based on my weekly weigh ins at home, on my scale, wearing the same thing each time, I am still within the healthy limits recommended. So poo poo on all of your furrowed brows. Am I on the high side? yes. Do I wish I had gained less weight? absolutely.  I've said it before and I'll say it again: going from always trying to loose weight and keep my numbers from creeping back up to flip a switch and be "okay" with weight gain is fiercely difficult.  It might have something to do with my perfectly-normal-but-a-little-on-the-high-side weight gain. So for now, I will don my Nike's and march onward and upward.
My hair has become on my list of things that are annoying about my totally easy pregnancy.  I have about 2 inches of regrowth, the color has totally faded and its dry at the ends, oily at the roots. What is that!? Someone actually asked me if I was going blond...I'm scared to re color, but what is a red head to do? I've seen some pictures of other women immediately after giving birth and, as vain as it is, I do not want to look like that. I entrusted my wonderful boyfriend with the job of making sure I don't look shiny in any photos but he cannot fix my color. I finally started writing down questions like this for my next prenatal exam. Eventually I'll remember to ask them.

As negative as I may sound, my wheels have been working in overdrive. Thinking of where to live, ways to start a career, educating myself, preparing for my life to change in THREE MONTHS, paying attention to things that inspire me so I can inspire my boys, and even fantasizing about being a cute mom with a bohemian baby wrap, and someday fitting into my old clothes, heck! maybe even smaller ones.
Off to sleep, perchance to dream.

p.s. got my spell check button back!

Week 22

current weight 154.5 at home...160 at the dr. I am less than thrilled about this.

The one perk to this awful peak in weight is that I have actually reached that redeeming moment in which I look like a pregnant woman instead of a bro ho. I didn't "pop" like the books and blogs and friends with kids said I would. It has been a long, slow process but today was different. I did my normal rush to the mirror to check for signs of growth without any luck. I continued along with my normal morning routine; brushed my teeth, showered, blow dried, coco buttered my gut and got dressed. But ah, that's when it hit me: my clothes were stretched to capacity. Wait, no...it couldn't be... I wore this shirt last week. After a quick recheck in the mirror, sure enough, there was a "baby bump." Victory.

For a while I thought I may have been loosing my mind as a result of the slew of hormones racing through my body...but after examining the cold hard facts, I realized I couldn't be wrong. People know I'm pregnant and they talk about it...before you roll your eyes to the tune of  "no shit, sherlock" hear me out. As I have mentioned for the past dozen weeks I didn't look pregnant, just like a big fan of bacon chedder potato wedges. People who saw me frequently (and infrequently) were unaware that I had been hard at work growing a person. Some people said things to me the indicated their shock at hearing I was pregnant. Now that I have sufficiently convinced you that I didn't appear to be pregnant...Other people who were never told have started stealing glances are my stomach. More and more people daily seem to know about it weather they say anything to me directly or they sneak a peak at my newly formed bump. Then there are the people I know know who don't say anything. It is a strange feeling, but still has a way of making me feel stripped down and exposed. I find myself wearing a fake diamond ring on my left hand daily just to make it feel better, however little. It'll make you think twice before uttering a single negative word about anyone else in the same situation.
Physically, there has been a lot of movement from the little guy. I try to pay attention to what it is that gets him going but as best as I can tell, its anything chocolatey. If I were to be truly graphic, it feels like that bubbling in your stomach when you have to fart or drank some water from Mexico, if you catch my downwind drift. So far, its pretty easy to ignore unless I'm trying to figure out if it is a fart or other ominous stomach rumbling.
The doctor told me that I'm measuring a little big, about a week big. Nothing to be worried about just means baby will be a little big...[insert sarcastic "woo"].  Everything else looks good, no down syndrome or other birth defects that they can detect from the APF testing.
I spent about 6 full days trying to decide on what to register for; reading reviews, talking to other women with children, reading consumer reports. After all that, I pretty much went with my gut. I'll let all of that settle before I hope online and start adding other things.  Who ever thought there would be a day when I could ask soneone to buy me nipple cream?
C'est la vie, non?

Week 21

Current Weight - 152.5 woohoo, finally a slow week!

Someone asked me last week if being pregnant was what I had expected. I was shocked to find out I couldn't answer. I couldn't think of what I had expected. I expected to throw up, which never happened. I expected to balloon all over, not just my stomach, and quickly...hasn't happened yet. I expected to have strange urges to eat certain things, hasn't happened either. I also expected to have wild mood swings and be set off by toilet paper commercial which I have evaded for the most part. What I never expected was to break out like a 15 year old boy, or to have one boob grow twice as much as the other. I never expected the sudden fatigue or how easily I would get wiped out doing leg work outs. I didn't expect to feel normal at any point during the day or to feel like I wasn't actually pregnant for even a second. Nor did I expect my gigantic appetite, which I really don't mind :)

All in all, I think my lack of forethought prevented me from having many expectations. This has been as much of a learning opportunity for me as it has been a life lesson.

I'm noticing more dramatic changes lately. I hopped on the stationary bike at my gym, set it to the normal routine at the normal resistance and had to drop it down 2 points less than 10 minutes in because I was so winded. Have I mentioned that I could lunge circles around anyone less than 6 months ago? I hadn't ever needed to lower the resistance on the bike up til this point. I still smoked the people on either side of me in time though. I'll take my ego boosts where I can get them!

Other women with kids have started looking at me with warm smiles and offering their advice or reminiscing about when they were pregnant. Its actually been kind cool. Mostly I like imagining them being pregnant and wondering how much their body's morphed. Most of them don't look so good.... Is it rude to ask for before pictures?
 
I've been feeling my muscles stretch a lot lately. I wake up with some soreness usually. My appetite has increased a LOT. For example, I went for a walk after work today, came home and ate a spinach ricotta calzone and then a bowl of rasin bran. It's pretty unpredictable. Sometimes I can have a sandwich and be full for hours, other times I can have eggs, potatoes and toast and be hungry in an hour. No wonder I can gain 4lbs in one week and .5 in another. My hips get pretty sore after walking for a while, nothing unbearable though. Just enough to make me dread the culmination of pregnancy.
 
Things with Cesar have been great lately. Despite the negative things I hear from people who believe they know me best, I feel more confident with our relationship and our future together as a family. We've started thinking about names and have agreed on some. It is a lot harder than it seems.