Weeks 5-11

I've been too lazy to pick up a paper journal. so, considering that it is 2010 I'll skip the old fashion way for now and succumb to blogging through my remaining months.

The weeks leading up to now have been a lot easier than I had expected.

Week 5: Something is wrong. I feel like I should have gotten my period by now but I can't remember when it was. I am stressed about that but also have some other financial issues that have been stressing me out. Somehow I convince myself that all the stress is what has made my period late. Everyone says that I should relax, but how can anyone relax with those type of issues in the back of your mind?

After some of the denial has worn off I talk to April and she convinces me to take a pregnancy test. Having done this before, I hope for a similar outcome as I've had in the past. I find the least fake looking "diamond" ring I have, throw it on my ring finger in an attempt to avoid any looks that may be shot my way by judgemental clerks. After about an hour I get up the courage to pee. The box says to wait 3 minutes; I stare at it until I see 2 lines show up. I frantically grab the box to verify that I'm reading the results correctly and then fall on the floor shaking and crying. About 2 minutes later Cesar calls to let me know he and Anthony are on their way up before we go to dinner.
3 days after I find out about the little bean squatting inside of me I tell Cesar. He doesn't speak for a while. After a few attempts at trying to convince me to evict the little squatter we come to the agreement that we'll let it stay and try and prepare ourselves to be parents.

Week 6: First doctor's appointment. They confirm the pregnancy, feel around inside to estimate how far along I am, and give us a goody bag with vitamins and other sample baby stuff. We aren't good at thanking anyone for their congratulations. I haven't told anyone other than April yet. Cesar tells everyone he knows.
My boobs are more painful than I would have ever thought possible and for good reason. They seem to have doubled in size overnight. Cesar loves this, but I quickly swat away any roaming hand. My morning sickness comes to me in the afternoon and then revisits again after dinner. I never actually throw up, thank goodness, but the nausea is enough to knock me out. I start to feel extremely tired and yearning for a cup of coffee.

Week 7: My boobs are like grapefruits. Everything hurts them. I start sleeping in a sports bra and retire my normal 34-Cs and break out my Ds reluctantly. I try to avoid eating large meals after I make the link between them and my killer nausea. I tell Alli who never for a moment acts concerned, only happy. Such a relief. Except it means no drinking for us at the Lady Gaga concert or at other Christmas parties.

Week 8: First ultrasound. The bean looks like an alien. April comes with me to a pro-life clinic for a free look at the alien. I start telling people at work by showing them my ultrasound. They all seem pretty excited.

Week 9: On my way to work I tell my Dad. After a little freaking out he starts to warm up to the idea. Him and my Mom text me nonstop for the rest of the day. My emotions are starting to feel a little more exaggerated.

Week 10: Nausea is much more bearable and my boobs hurt much less. I feel more human aside from my exhaustion. I tell my small group and worship team leaders. This is probably the hardest thing I've had to do. Up til now I've masted getting the news out without bursting into tears. I've also noticed that everyone has become incredibly annoying lately.

Week 11: Nausea is completely gone and has been replaced with seemingly never ending hunger. I can stay awake finally! I feel much more human. Cesar's mom starts making me little snacks and breakfasts when I'm around. She thinks I'm not eating enough...she doesn't know me very well. Emotions don't do any swinging but feel much stronger. I feel bloated, gassy and wish I at least had a baby belly to make it seem real.